hillary clinton told a joke at the al smith dinner tonight. it’s a very simple joke. and these two CNN panelists have completely misunderstood it at every turn. it is making me so god damn angry.
the gist of the joke is “when i look at the statue of liberty, i see all the things that make our country great [blah blah blah.] when donald trump looks at the statue of liberty he sees a 4. maybe a 5 if she loses the torch and the tablet.”
and this fucking moron is saying that the joke is funny because the statue of liberty looks like the number 4.
which is not what that joke is saying at ALL.
her follow-up to this joke was:
“you know what i think a good number for a woman is? forty five”
(because if she’s elected, she will be the forty fifth president)
and this dipshit on CNN is chuckling like “yeah, i think forty five is a good age too”
When sexists don’t understand they’re the butt of the joke because they’ve never heard a joke at their expense imo
“what if i just straight up break down in class and scare the shit out of ms neo so that she’ll postpone the test?”
“is it too early if i have a breakdown in january?” “its the second week, man.” “i know.”
“let’s all just collectively skip the national exams, fuck the system!” *aggressive cheering*
in a really choked up voice, “i have rights.”
“what if i become a monk? do monks have to take exams?”
“in this context, what does ‘rapid’ mean?” “FAST AND FURIOUS”
“did y’all do the chem homework?” *collective ‘no’s* “alright, good. nobody be a wimp and do their homework, alright? if we’re fucked, we’re all fucked together.”
“wait, you mean to say that this school still teach fun stuff like music??”
*scandalised gasp* “you stole my circle template’s virginity!” “all i did was hook a finger through one of the holes!” “exactly!”
“i bought this $2 knee guard just because i want to pretend that i’m injured so that i can sit out of PE.” [slides knee guard on] “i have three consecutive tests after this and lord knows i need all the extra study time that i can get.”
in an increasingly panicked voice, “i can’t just do my lit homework in 30mins!” “well, i did.” “what did you put for characterisation and further analysis?” “i said the protagonist was a fuckboy, and then proceeded to write 3 paragraphs and a conclusion consisting of utter bullshit on why he’s a fuckboy.”
“don’t they call people from Germany, germanese?” said by a top student.
“i think i’m a hermaphrodite.”
“fuck, i hate this. can i just be an escort? or have like 67 sugar daddies?”
in the middle of physics class: “i’m leaving, i’m fucking leaving. i’m going down to the canteen to buy takeouts of 3 fishball noodles. y’all want anything?”
“i want the saddest pepe the frog meme you can find as our class logo.”
“i found a salsa dip in my bag, anyone have some chips?” [a girl sighs, puts down her calculator and reaches into her sports bag] “i do.”
I don’t mean to impose a personal favour on you guys, but I really would like to ask that everyone who follows me reblog this.
I don’t think I made it very clear but last month I was sexually assaulted by someone who I thought was my friend (I don’t want to talk about it don’t ask), and it’s… really fucked with my head.
Had I known this a month ago I would have been able to get away.
So, essentially, I’m really pleading with you to reblog this so everyone who follows you doesn’t get stuck in the same position I was with no way out.
I mean again I don’t want the point of this to be my sob story or whatever but if you could reblog this it would seriously mean a lot
If you have something due soon, an assignment you’re supposed to be working on, a test you should be studying for or a deadline at work - this is your sign to go and do it. Get off tumblr and dedicate some time to whatever your task is. Do yourself a favour and prevent future-you from feeling anxious and overwhelmed because you aren’t prepared. Don’t leave it until the last minute and cause yourself unnecessary stress. Stop procrastinating. I believe in you. You can do this.
